a few pics from Ryder's birthday

Birthday boy!!

Today my little boy is ONE!! It's so hard to believe that a year ago today I had our beautiful baby boy! We had his birthday party a couple days early because my mom and sisters were coming up. I started looking up party ideas about a month before and I found the PERFECT one! I found a picture of a cake inspired by the book The Very Hungry Caterpillar and right away I knew it was the one :) I made the cake out of a Bundt cake cut in half and put back together to form an 'S' shape. I used three different shades of green frosting for a slightly striped look and frosted the head red, using frosting for the eyes and mouth and two dumdum suckers for the antennae. I also made twelve cupcakes and, with frosting, drew pictures of some of the food the caterpillar ate and other things related to the book. I also made a Happy Birthday banner out of construction paper, which turned out well! I was so glad to have my mom and sisters up to help me, especially since this was my first ever birthday cake. The party went off without a hitch and mostly importantly no tears! I was a little worried because Ryder was starting to get a little crabby right before the party but once people started showing up he was just happy to be the center of attention. His favorite part of the whole party was probably the two helium balloons followed closely by getting to eat a big piece of cake all by himself! (he made such a mess!!)
On his actual birthday (today) Ryder had a doctors appointment were he got 6 shots! Poor guy, I felt so bad for him! While he was getting the shots he was just bawling and looking at me like 'why are you letting them hurt me?!' I almost cried myself! After he got the shots the nurse tried to smile at him and say hi but he kept pushing her away and shaking his head. It was actually kind of funny because he looked like a big kid with an attitude! But he soon forgot all about that and for the rest of the day we read books and played with his new toys. He even let me rock him to sleep for his nap! He has been starting to cuddle less and less now that he is becoming so independent so I gladly rocked and sang him to sleep. He was starting to look a little sleepy when he just climbed up on my lap and snuggled his face in my neck. I just love that feeling when he is all snuggley and warm and singing himself to sleep in my arms. After he fell asleep, I stayed rocking him for a little while longer, just looking at him and thinking about all that has happened this past year and how he has grown from a tiny newborn to a busy little toddler. Later, we all went to Grandma Hyrkas' for supper and cake (an awesome Winnie the Pooh one!). I hope Rydes doesn't start thinking that every year he is going to get two birthday parties!
It still hasn't sunk in all the way that RYDER IS ONE so I will have to write more later when it does, though I think I may be in denial :)

My baby is almost ONE!

Wow, I cannot believe that Ryder is going to be ONE YEAR OLD in a couple days! It feels like he was just born a couple months ago! Though I am considerably more rested than back then. :) This last year has certainly been quite the ride, from the first few panic-stricken hormone-crazy euphoric days to the where-did-my-little-baby-go feeling that I have now and everything in between. Yesterday, I was playing peekaboo with Ryder and it just hit me...he's no longer a baby! (I always say this but I guess I never really got it until then) He walks and plays games, has a sense humor, "reads" books and babbles nonstop. The other day we were playing "How big is Ryder?" and he was giggling that perfect little kid giggle and my heart just melted. Then, later, he walked up to me holding a book and babbled to me like he expected me to understand. And even though there wasn't a single understandable word in what he had just said, I understood him perfectly. How weird, I never knew I could speak baby :)
So, since the big "oh-one" is fast approaching, I need to start planning his party! Well, actually I have been planning it all month but I need to start put my plans in action!! I am thinking of doing a The Very Hungry Caterpillar themed party. (Why not go all out, right?) When I was looking up cake ideas I found one that looked pretty doable. Making a caterpillar cake out of a bundt cake pan? I can do that! (insert self deprecating chuckle here) And to top it all off, I decided to bake cupcakes and decorate them as the various things that the caterpillar eats in the book. And a "Happy Birthday" banner in the shape of a caterpillar. And now I am officially freaking out. I have a feeling that I am going to accomplish this all on "Tahnee Time" aka: I'm going to procrastinate but still hopefully manage to finish it all at the last second. Oh and have I mentioned that my house is a mess? I'm in the middle of organizing, which means I am making my house messier in hopes of somehow making it all clean and orderly. Yikes. But hopefully my mom and sisters will be up in time to work their magic and help me decorate the cake!! I am so excited that Ryder is turning one, but at the same it's so crazy that a year has passed already! Wish me luck! :]

summer's over :(

I think I can now officially say that summer is over. :( College is back in session and the warm weather is long gone (but then again it is the U.P. so it could be 90 degrees tomorrow!). It's been sweatshirts and pants for the last couple days and it feels like fall! I have to say I am kind of excited for fall, if only because Ryder has a ton of cute sweatshirts and some cute hats! :] This weather has gotten me thinking about Halloween and Christmas and, of course, Ryder's 1st birthday! Wow I cannot believe that he is almost ONE! I swear he was born just a month of two ago! Sometimes I just look at him trying to walk around in his big boy clothes and think "where's my little baby??" It doesn't help that I gave him his first haircut yesterday so he looks like a toddler now, not a baby! I wanted to wait until maybe November to cut his hair but it's so long and was always hanging in his eyes so I finally cut it. :( And, for the record, I do NOT know how to cut hair! John's hair is so thick and curly that if (I mean When) I make a mistake it's pretty much hidden. Not so with Ryder's hair! Oh well it was my first time cutting it and he was pretty squirmy as always :)
At the end of this month I am heading downstate with Ryder for about a week and I can't wait! Though that means that he will be one month closer to being one! hmmm... <3

whew!

Whoops I haven't written anything in a while! Must be because I've been so busy... or more like because Ryder has been so busy! I swear he gets into EVERYthing! He is steadily mastering the art of walking and with it causes more trouble than I ever could have imagined! Instead of buying baby gates (like I should have!) I have two chairs from our kitchen laying across the entrences to the kitchen and dining room from the living room. It's easy enough for John and I to step over but has always kept Ryder out. Until now. He has started to climb everything so one day he climbed the chair and landed face first in the kitchen. Ouch. He did that once more but then seemed to learn his lesson on that one. Now he simply pulls it away until he can crawl by. Hmm I never thought of that! When I first put them there he was just starting to crawl and it was so hard to imagine him being big enough to get by them. Well what do you know that day is here! So now I have more baby-proofing to do! Our house is now full of Ryder-traps: chairs pushed against the walls so he can't get at the outlets (he pulls the covers off because we have crooked old outlets), the toy box in front of the bathroom so he can't get at the toilet again (actually he just climbes over that but it's still there to give us a 2 second heads up before he goes over), my books packed to tightly that even I can't get them out on the top shelf of the bookcase (the bottom shelves hold his books, which he happily empties every day) etc. And STILL he manages to find stuff to get into! Everything in my house is on the verge of being banished to the second floor...oh wait on second thought he is forever tearing down the gate and making a break up the stairs anyway. No wonder I'm exhausted! I feel like all I do all day is chase after him! well I have to go...Ryder is trying to climb up my legs to get at the computer...!

ps any suggestions?!?

What a busy month it's been!

This July has been so incredibly busy! And yet it's only half over! My sister Jacey came to stay with us for three weeks this summer and I am so glad she came! I am so happy to be able to spend time with her again. I've missed her! I had big plans for the weeks she was here but most kind of fell through, as plans have a way of doing. But it has been so fun to just chat and hang out with her! She is so good with Ryder and has been such an incredible help since my miscarriage. I don't know what I'm going to do without her when she leaves! The house will feel so empty and I know that Rydes is going to miss being entertained by his Auntie Jacey! 4th of July weekend was a pretty busy weekend for us. John, Ryder, Jacey and I went to the Lake Linden fireworks on the 2nd, the parade on the 3rd followed by a picnic with the Hyrkas fam and then up to Copper Harbor on the 4th! We drove up Brockway Mtn. and walked around Copper Harbor. Then came the fireworks! They are so cool because they shoot them over the water and you have to look almost straight up to see them because they are right overhead. They are incredible! Of course Ryder slept through them (I don't know how, they were so loud!) as he has done with the last 3 firework shows we've been to (bridgefest, balloonfest, LL fireworks and then 4th of July). Ryder has been the busiest of us all. Just a couple days ago he stood on his own for the first time! For about ten heart-pounding(for me!) seconds! I was so excited and proud of him that I immediately called my mom to brag. She told me that he would be walking before I knew it. And what do you know, he took his first steps three minutes later! Jacey and I seriously screamed we were so proud!!! And that's not all. Just today he said his first words! (I KNOW!) We were at Wal-Mart and John was pushing the cart, which Ryder was sitting in. John turned away to look at an item on the shelf and Ryder looked right at him and very loudly and clearly said "Dada!" He then waited expectantly for a response. And a response he got! He has been babbling "dadada" for a while with some bababa's and motorboat sounds thrown in too but that was the first time he ever said it as an actual word. John's grin was from ear to ear :) I cannot believe how fast he is growing up! It is so amazing and a little scary; where has my baby boy gone? Even his personality has really took root and shows. He is such a busy little troublemaker! And his grins and kisses just melt my heart. I love my little guy! Now we are getting ready to go camping with the Kantolas. I've been waiting for this all summer and I'm so excited! If only the food would make itself, the house would clean itself, the car would pack itself, and the laundry would do itself! While I'm wishing I may as well wish for new carpet too... :]

Some bad news

As always, life has its ups and downs and I've had my share of both in the last couple of weeks. Finding out that I was expecting was so exciting. I could barely believe that I was going to soon be a mother of two! When you find out that you're pregnant you right away think of the end result, meeting that precious little baby in nine months. My pregnancy with Ryder was so trouble-free that I didn't even think anything could ever happen. So I was in total shock when I started bleeding. My heart literally jammed into my throat and my stomach dropped. I can't even begin to describe that feeling. The first thing I did was call my mom and I just started bawling. I know that it's not uncommon to bleed during a pregnancy but I just knew that something was wrong. Even just writing this I'm starting to tear up! I ended up going to the E.R. where they did an ultrasound. I felt so numb waiting for the doctor to come back with the results. John was thinking positive (as he always does :)...) but something felt wrong. When the doctor told us that we had lost the baby I started crying all over again. I kept thinking "I already knew it was going to be bad news so why am I reacting like this?" but to have my feelings confirmed meant that even the tiniest bit of hope that I had was now gone. I cried for the baby that had been lost and for the loss of the future that I had already started envisioning. Now, more than ever, I realize how blessed I am to have such a loving and caring family. If not for the support of my husband and mom and all my family and friends I would have been so lost in this trial. They have helped and are helping me accept my pain and move on. I know it's going to be a long journey. Being around people who are pregnant or just had a baby and hearing them talk about everything is really hard but I just smile because I truly am happy for them and I save my tears for later. I realize now what a miracle pregnancy really is and I know that I am so unbelievably blessed that God has given me such a wonderful son already. Ryder is a happy, healthy, growing little boy. What more can I ask for?