feeling lonely

This weekend is Mrqt weekend and it is so hard knowing that so many of my friends that don't live by me anymore are only 2 hours away and I won't even see them! Yesterday was such an emotional roller coaster. I started off having a decent day but around dinner time I was just a wreck. I was feeling so sad and upset and I didn't even know why! And I did not have enough patience with Ryder, who was just being his normal energetic self but I found myself getting so irritated at the littlest things! I yelled at him because he got water all over the floor when he was helping me with dishes (he always gets water on the floor, I mean come on Tahnee he's two!) which made him start crying and that in turn made me start crying! Poor little guy took one look at me crying and ran right over, gave me a big hug and said "I sorry mommy, no cry mommy!" I felt a little better after we cuddled and rocked for a while and then Heather, Liz and Kelly came over and I cheered right up. It was so nice to catch up with them all at once, we haven't all hung out together in a while!  When John and I were getting ready for bed, Mal texted me pics of her, Erica and Ju and right away the waterworks started again! I think I made John a little nervous because I was crying so hard I couldn't even tell him what was wrong. But being the husband of an emotional wreck has him pretty well trained I guess because he picked up that I was feeling lonely right away, even before I could put a finger on it! Life sure can throw curveballs at you and one of the hardest things is when you and your best friends all live at least 7 hours (and more) away! I'm usually okay with it (change is the only constant in life anyway) because we talk, text, facebook and every time we get together we just pick up where we left off. But knowing that they were all only 2 hours away from me and all together made me really really wish I was there too!

For real...

...I will upload pics one day. I haven't even put any on facebook recently! I don't know what my problem is. Oh wait, yes I do. Lazinesssss

6 days...

6 days to go until my due date! Actually I am not that excited about this. Majorly wishing I had already had this baby! What if I'm one of those people who NEVER go into labor?!?!! I better not be. So someone please explain to me why I am at 4.5-5cm dilated and not in labor!? Because no one goes past a 5 without being in labor right?...right? Sigh. At the rate I'm going I'll go in for my appointment a week after my due date and be at a 10 and be like Okay can we just start pushing now? Haha yeah right and skip the joys of labor? As if I'm that lucky ;) Though since I'm already halfway there this should be a quick labor when it actually starts (fingers crossed!) Unless I have to get induced again. Then who knows how long that will take... okay I better stop all this whining and think of something positive to write about!

Um I ruined lunch. Who can make crepes anyway? They probably would've tasted nasty even if I hadn't burned them (wink).  Okay so that wasn't positive but John did come home right in the middle of my minor breakdown over ruining lunch and somehow managed to make me laugh. By the time he left to go back to work my horrible awful no good very bad day had turned into sunshine(figuratively) and smiles <3 Huh. Maybe that's why I married him :]

And now Ryder is demanding that I put a nice cozy blanket on my lap so that he can brum trucks on it and me. Apparently I'm lumpy enough to make some great hills and hidey-holes. Jeez sometimes this motherhood stuff is so hard ;] (btw if you don't know what "brumming" something is, you obviously did not grow up with a bunch of little brothers and give birth to a car-loving little boy lol)

Ryder's 2nd birthday party!

Monday was Ryder's 2nd birthday party day (he officially turns two on the 27th) and he had so much fun! I actually got my butt in gear the day of to get everything done in time. I made cut out cookies the night before (Halloween ones, yumm!) but other than that I went from being totally unprepared to party-ready in about 7 hours. Yep, that's how I roll. I stuck with the farm cake idea and Ryder absolutely loved it. He was so proud to have cows and baby goats on his cake that he didn't even eat his piece of cake! Mostly he chowed down on pumpkin cookies and ice cream. Speaking of ice cream, we have the leftovers in our freezer and I'm looking for someone to dump them on. Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream is just too tempting for this lactose-intolerant lady :S The party was so much fun with half the family there to celebrate. The other half (Raasakka side) is coming up in November so it will pretty much be like another party then too :] Ryder loves being the center of attention so he slipped right into the role of birthday boy and is still having some trouble going back to normal. Sigh. He has been sleeping HORRIBLY lately. I mean like waking up every hour or every other hour and refusing to go back to sleep. Ugh. He's ended up in our bed almost every night these last couple days, which I know is a bad precedent to set but I figured out I will do pretty much whatever it takes to get some sleep at night so oh well. I'm thinking he better start sleeping better soon because I don't think I'll survive waking up with a newborn and a toddler who sleeps like a newborn every night. Just thinking about it now is giving me a headache...


I'm 38 weeks along now and more than ready for this baby to come! Last doc appt I was dilated to 3cm already so the doc was telling me I'll pry go sometime soon (what do they know, really) and if I start labor at home I should come in right away because I'll probably go quick (again, what do they know). I then felt the need to inform him that last time I was dilated 4 weeks before my due date and that on my due date I was at 4cm  and the doc was positive every week that I would go early...only to eventually get induced a week late because it was very apparent that I was not going in to labor anytime soon. So yeah. I'm hoping I'll go early but I'm thinking I'll probably go late.


Oh and speaking of headaches, I gave up caffeine last week and, even though I'm over the headaches now, I still miss it every day. Today I even opened the coffee container just to smell the grounds...yummm. And since I plan on nursing the baby, I probably won't be having caffeine for a while. But it'll be worth it just to know that I'm doing what I can to try and have a good sleeper this time around!


Also, I finished the baby blanket! I'll have to post pictures soon ( and of Ryder's party) but I fail at posting pictures, it just seems too much like work. So hopefully they will be up one day. If you really want to see it there is a pic on Facebook that I uploaded from my phone. It feels awesome to have completed my very first blanket!! It looks amazing if I do say so myself :) :) Though I have no idea how people manage to hide their weaved-in ends from changing colors...I can pure see all mine and it's so irritating but I don't really know what to do. Oh well, if anyone notices and dares say something about it, they can just fix it themselves ;)

and now the countdown begins...

So yeah I never finished that last post, but things got a little crazy around here!  The weather has been absolutely gorgeous (mid 70s!!) so Ryder and I haven't been home much. Highlights of the last couple days:

• Ryder got a yeast infection. Ouch. Pretty much succeeded in making diaper changes more of a battle than they already are (potty training is not going as planned, mostly because it's not going at all). Poor kid was so miserable and I didn't even think to bring him in until a week into it. I had never seen a yeast infection before so I was just thinking diaper rash until it got all bumpy and wouldn't go away. Good thing is that it's almost healed up! Bad thing is we had lots of diaper-digging and he now loves to announce that he has "owie bum!"
• Ryder fell off his tricycle and got his first case of major road rash. From his chin straight up to his forehead. Ouch. We sure get lots of comments on that one. And he loves to tell the story: "I fell off bike. Crash! I donk head. Owie face. I cry lots! Owie owie owie!" Gotta say that he looks like one tough kiddo right now!
• We got tickets to the Tech hockey games last weekend. Paul and JoAnne have season tickets and were out of town that weekend so we gladly took their place :] John, Ryder and I went on Friday and had a blast! Ryder bawling at first (he fell asleep on the car ride there so he was a little more temperamental  than usual) because it was super loud in there and there were tons of people and he probably had no clue what the heck was going on. Once the hockey players got out on the ice he perked right up though! He loved "watching hockey puck" and the "bimp" aka the blimp that flies around at intermissions. Oh and also those arena seats are not made for a 9 month pregnant lady holding a squirming almost-2-year-old. Ouch.
• Selina and I took the kids to the game on Saturday while our husbands went bear hunting...aren't we brave? lol :) It was a little tricky but lots of fun, Ryder knew the program this time around so he was so excited. He was clapping and cheering "go hockey!" and was literally on the edge of his seat watching the game :] At least until the Husky mascot came by, then he cowered on my lap bawling. And seeing that mascot brought back the whole lion issue (the Finlandia mascot from Mal's volleyball games). We ended up leaving right before the 3rd period because Ryder had just had enough. I'm so glad we went because Ryder still talks all about the "nice doggie" mascot and the "bimp" and that it was very loud watching the hockey game :) I think we have a major sports fan in the making!
• Ryder's birthday party is coming up. I figured out I picked a horrible time to have it! It was originally on Saturday but it's fall services up here this weekend and Fulton has church Saturday night. Then it was Friday but I felt guilty about having a birthday party when there was church in Atlantic Mine so I switched it to Thursday. Only to be reminded that I have to work at Bible class that day. Oops. So now it's on Monday and it better stay that day. I'm thinking a farm-themed cake (thanks to my mom for the idea and for reassuring me that I'm allowed to take shortcuts this birthday since I'm pretty much having a baby any time now). So far everything is in it's planning-not-doing stage. I better get on that seeing as it's less than a week away. Yikes.
• I was 37 weeks along today so the countdown til my due date has begun! Truthfully it started waaaay before this but since I'm technically full-term now I don't feel bad for hoping for this baby's appearance sooner rather than later! 
• I've been pretty busy getting stuff ready for the baby (finally). I have about 4 rows left to do on my baby blanket which I plan to finish as soon as I finish writing this and the swing and bassinets are all set up and sheeted :] Now to dig the car seat out of the closet, pack my bag, clean the house, make a couple dinners to freeze....etc etc. HA. I have a feeling I'll be packing my hospital bag between contractions and wishing I had just gone ahead and cleaned the house already :) 

That's all for now! Hopefully I'll have a post coming soon about this baby's much-awaited arrival! ;)

36 weeks!

Today I officially have 4 weeks until my due date! Crazy! This pregnancy has just flown by so far, especially compared to when I was pregnant with Ryder. I guess chasing after a toddler sure makes the days fly by :) It's weird how different each pregnancy has been: with Ryder I was sick for 4 months, with this one about 2 (hallelujah), I am also carrying this baby differently which is a good thing because I was in so much pain the last 3 months of my pregnancy with Ryder that every day and night just dragged by. This time I only have 4 weeks left and I'm still feeling pretty awesome! Huge, but good ;] And yes, I'm sure I will look back on this post in another week or two and think "what the heck? These weeks are dragging!" But for now I'm doing great and enjoying these last weeks of just me and Ryder. Notice I did not say anything about getting ready for the baby. Yeah pretty much haven't done that yet. I did wash all the clothes and blankets and sheets but I have yet to set up the bassinet or drag the car seat out of the attic or pack my hospital bag etc. Talk about procrastination. Or Tahnee Time as my mom would call it :] But don't worry it will all get done eventually and I'm just banking on going late, not early, since I was induced a week after my due date with Ryder. Maybe it'll help the last weeks go by quickly if I'm not waiting for labor to start every day (haha yeah right I'm trying to be optimistic here but we all know by next week I'll go to bed every night hoping labor starts that night lol)
This month is going to be so crazy busy for me! Mal's birthday is today, Grant's is the 9th, Ju's is the 17th, Ryder's is the 27th, then comes Halloween and my due date! And somewhere in there I have to fit in Ryder's birthday party....can't believe he is going to be TWO! I was looking for cake ideas yesterday and I could have sworn  that I had just planned his first birthday! He is getting so big...
But more on all that later because if I don't get Ryder dressed and us both out the door in like 10 minutes I'm going to be late for my doc appt! Toodles :]